peer review 1 evan

WRITER: EVAN BEARD
Research Question/Roadmap
Does it pose a question? Does the paper identify tensions? Does it say what it’s going to do and what its point is?
· He doesn’t state it in question form but he wants to know why students go out and participate in such risky and dangerous activities such as partying. The tension is between the cops and the underage drinking and being the one nobody knows at the party and having people stare at you because they know you are an unfamiliar face.
Theme
What is the quality of the content of the writing: the ideas, perceptions, and point of view? In your words, what is being said? Is it more than a collection of thoughts and observations? According to the author, why does this whole thing matter?
· He shows the typical party scene at BSU. He talks about the underage drinking and how there are other options of activity other than the house parties that are throw. He talks about what goes on in the party such as the beer pong game and the pranks they pull on people who fall asleep. It matters because this is information that a person who has never been to a house party would want to know.
Is there too much abstraction or generalization? Underline or circle this language in the paper. In other words, are there so few details, examples and explanations that it ends up dull, empty, and impossible to experience? Or, perhaps even impossible to understand? Explain.
· No, he gives detailed descriptions and he walks you through the whole night of activities.
Are there too little abstraction or generalization and too much clutter of details, examples, and explanations? Too little standing back for perspective? Too little forest per tree?
· I think he should talk more about his thought on that first night at the rugby house and his judgments or if he thought people judged him.
What is the practical significance of the artifact? What idea does it represent?
· The artifact was the cup they used to play beer pong and it represents the games they play at the party. Its one the main events when you first walk through the party.
What is the significance of Interview 1?
· Piece was the owner of the house so he knew what was going in in the house and when the parties were and he could answer all the questions involved around the activities that were going on in the house and some of the people. He talks about why they have the parties and why he drinks alcohol.
What is the significance of Interview 2?
· She tells how her background effects the decisions she makes like drinking and partying. She explains why she party and why she drinks alcohol for a confidence boost.
Are all 3 required scholarly sources developed in the conclusions?
· Yes
Is all source material cited according to MLA, both parenthetically and in a Works Cited?
· yes
Do the conclusions satisfy the issues the study raises with complexity? How so?
· He used the sources to explain and get into depth of the points he’s making.
Structure
Is the whole thing unified? Is there a central idea to which everything pertains? What? Are there loose ends that don’t seem purposefully so, but accidently overlooked?
· I think he chose the right example and interviewees because they all tie together.
Are the parts arranged in a coherent, logical narrative sequence?
· yes
Were the paragraphs really paragraphs? Could you tell what each one was saying? Did they function as helpful and comfortable units of thought, not too much, not too little? Mark any that seem too short or too long.
· They were pretty good length not too long that they were dragging.
Language
Are the sentences clear and readable? Underline with a wavy line any that you find incorrect or confusing.
· yes
Are the words used correctly? List any misused words.
· no
Is it succinct enough? Not too long, repetitious or dull? Mark any areas for deletion.
· No
Is it full enough? Or does the writer squeeze out the juice of human communication and spoken discourse? Is the language, even if correct, dull and indigestible? Does the writer sufficiently use the language of the subculture?
· He uses the slang that the people used around him and nicknames
Does the diction, mood and level of formality fit with ethnography?
· I think he should talk about some of the wild things or outrageous that happened at the different parties.
Readerly Response
Describe what was happening to you as you read. Tell which words or phrases stuck out or resonated.
· I like the way he mentions the slang and when he talks about how they put “x” on your face if you fall asleep. It really reminded me of the parties I went to while being here at Ball State. I also remembered times when my roommate would come home talking about what went on at the rugby house.
What happened and what are the implications?

What ideas or beliefs or feelings were brought into this piece? How do multiple points of view contribute to your understanding?
· The idea of alcohol and partying being a stress reliever. And you never know who you may become friends with.
What understanding of the culture do you have from reading this piece? What gave you this understanding?
· College students’ party for many reasons and when they all come together to one location you see the many personalities. People drink for many reasons like just to hang with friends or forget about stressors that are happening in your life. Sometimes drinking can get out of hand and maybe he could have told about a time if he saw someone getting into a fight or hurling.
The writer has introduced him/herself to you. Describe that meeting. What’s your impression? Did he thrust out his hand for you to shake? Did she sidle up next to you, but fail to look you in the eye? Did he send you a letter bomb or put his arm around your shoulder? Does it seem like the writer is standing on a cliff talking down to an audience below? What sense of the writer do you have? Formal? Casual? Intimate? Jocular? Arrogant? Are you with the writer, against her, or unsure since you don’t really know him?
· The writer seems like a laid back guy who wants to party. He’s not very shy because he went to a house where he knew no one. And he met up with a girl he didn’t even know that well and they talked for hours.
Is the writer giving in?
What do you want, need, or wish for?
· I want to hear more about what he sees random people doing or if there was an occurrence with the police

conclusion questions

What do you make of your experience?
This experience has taught me how to open my mind to new situations. I know that you can't live by what you were brought up to learn because sometimes people can be wrong. Never be afraid to learn new things. I I learned that it takes time to get someone to trust you and you have to be able to show them that you want to learn more about them. I learned that you have to ask questions if you want to find out information.

What is it like to be apart of your subculture's community?
Being apart of the the track and field throwers not only allowed me to meet new friends but made me feel like im not and outside anymore. I like coming around and they call me by my first name or the nicknames they have given me. It has really made me feel like im apart of their family. I have learned that you dont do things because of your appearance but because the love you have for it.

Describe the way you have represented them?
I showed how the girls are determined and love what they do. The paper will show the love they have for one another and how they strive to be the best they can be. It shows that women have the ability to do the same thing men are capable to do. I describe the obstacles they go through and how they overcome them. The paper not only shows the hardworking part of the girls but some of things they do outside of throwing. I also point out the stereotypes and if they are ethical or not.

Do you have the authority? Why or Why not?
I wouldnt say I have the authority to represent but I would say I have the ability. I have been knowing most of the team since track has started and once I started doing field notes and going to meets I have learned and seen alot about the girls. I have gotten to know some of their personal thoughts and have gladly learned many personalities. I can fully represent them to anyone and I know that they would agree.

Box 21 feedback

One thing I know I need to do is ask more questions that the informant can elaborate on. I think I did very well but I think could have asked some more closed questions like where are you from and how old are you. (even though I knew that information already but others did not.) I feel like I asked very good questions and this review helped me think of more questions I could have asked to learn more about the subculture.

verbal art

The verbal art for the throwers would be happiness and determination.
The culture revealed is how hard the girls work and the dedication they give to their interest of the sport. They are happy at all times because they know their trying their best to be the best and do the best they can.
It is important to me because I like when people show that hard work can pay off and the saying practice makes perfect. Its important to the group because they love the sport so much that it means alot to them to get notice for what they have practiced for so long. And to show boys that they arent the only ones strong at heart and mind. And its importan t to indiana because they are representing indiana when they go to meets and compete.

Questions for Interviewees

I am going to interview Lywanna Melvin and Emily.

1. What caught your interest on throwing
2. Whats your favorite weight to throw and why
3. whats the hardest part of throwing and why
4. what is your most memorable experience in throwing
5. Do you get along with your teammates
6. How Dangerous do you think the sports id and have you ever got injured or seen anybody get injured
7. What do you do special to get ready for practice or a meet
8. Are there ever any tension between players from different events about who does the best event
9. What are your feelings about how the media doesn't show professional throwing like they show all the other sports
10. Do you perfer a male or female coach and why
11. Can you name a time where you weren't notice for your hard work
12. Whats harder college or high school throwing and why
13. How long have you been throwing
14. What do you think makes up a great thrower and do you consider yourself a great thrower
15. Are competitive towards your teammates
16. Do you think practicing has helped you get any better
17. how often do you try to help your teammates im prove your technique
18. Is there anybody you look up to that motivates you to keep throwing
19. Do you think size matter in throwing (body type)
20. Do you think you can make a career out of the sport
21. Have you heard any stereotypes about girls who throw and if so what were they

practice interview

Sara Starkey is Caucasian with medium length brown hair and blue eyes. She's very straight forward and organized. She doesn't talks as much but she will get her point across. She lives in Dyer, Indiana and graduated from Lake Central High School. She has one older brother and he lives in Pittsburgh and she sees him like 4 - 5 times a year. In her spare time at home she would volunteer at her church by doing crafts or helping out with dinners. She loves to read and mentioned that she has so many books that she ran out of bookshelves in her room. On her graduation day her mother gave her two necklaces as gifts and she wears them everyday. She says her mother is her best friend.
She now attends Ball State University and she is majoring in History and Education. She wants to pursue a career as a librarian or a teacher. She went on a trip in 8th grade to museums and she was very intrigued so from then on she wanted to be an librarian. She takes 18 credit hours and she is involved in a group called Circle K, which is a volunteer group that helps raise money for causes. She has met 5 good friends here at Ball State.

ARTICLE SUMMARIES

Constantinou, Phoebe, Manson, Mara, Silverman, Stephen wrote "Female Students' Perceptions About Gender - Role Stereotypes and Their Influence on Attitude Toward Physical Education" in Spring 2009. The thesis is about how females are getting involved in more physical activity. The article explains how gender impairs people judgement about if they should involve themselves in sports. It mainly talks about 7th and 8th grade students in a suburban school. But you can relate this study to any age group. It talks about how female are far more competitive than males. "Gender is a socially constructed pattern behavior" It is hard to change social patterns and it will be different to change because each social and economic group is different. And it will be a hard process to change. The study showed that the safer the environment was the more the females would participate. I agree with this article because the girls in my subculture are very competitive but the sport that they chose to get involved in is dangerous. I could use this source to explain the importance of what it means to the girls to participate in throwing and how they work as hard as men and how all females don't like t play it safe.

Peter Donnelly of McMaster University and Kevin Young of University of Calgary wrote "The Construction and Confirmation of Identity in Sport Subcultures" in 1988. The thesis of the article states that the roles and identities of members of subcultures should not be thought of as static positions and entities. All subcultures are different and each of them have the own rules and regulations to follow and new recruitment have to go through the different task to become apart of the group. Many subcultures go through the different "career stages" such as presocialization which is all the information an individual acquires about a specific subculture prior to initial participation in the subculture. Selection and Recruitment which is a more flexible stage because it can be renewed if a new comer is geographically mobile and wants to maintain a membership. And at this stage new individuals can become apart of the subculture. Socialization is when an initially active but ongoing stage wherein members undergo training in the characteristics of the subculture. In this stage they learn to adopt the values and perspectives of the group. And the last stage is Acceptance and Ostracism is when the members of the subculture of your choice accepts everything about you and they learn your values and interest like you did with the first stage of the process. This article helped me understand more about how to approach my subculture and how to understand them more. I know that every individual is different but when they come together as a whole they share the same values and beliefs. And now I know that those are the aspects to construct a subculture and that's how they get along with one another. And although many subcultures are able to tolerate diversity, there are some critical aspects for which little tolerance is allowed.

Shelly A. McGrath of University of Alabama and Ruth A. Chananie-Hill of University of Northern Iowa wrote "Big Freaky Women": Normalizing Gender Transgression Through Bodybuilding. This article focuses on the aspect of female bodybuilding. The authors were trying to see if the way women are build have an affect on their everyday lives and are they perceived differently from the petite and girlie women. In the article the authors observed ten female bodybuilders to see how their appearance affects what goes on in their life. One of the builders was a woman named Carla she is mixed with African American and Ghanaian. And she said "My family gives me a hard time because of the increase in my muscularity and my dedication to the sport ". She has to consider her family values as well as her own beliefs and they contradict with one another because Americans do things different from her country. And another woman named Bev mentioned that her brothers would make fun of her body because of their Palestinian views regarding female gender roles. Most of the women continued to do bodybuilding even though it their cultural backgrounds don't agree with their decision. The article explains some of the stereotypes and biases that I had of my subculture. The girls don't participate in the sports because of how they look, they do it because they love to play it or their interest out weighs the opinions of outsiders.