peer review 1 evan

WRITER: EVAN BEARD
Research Question/Roadmap
Does it pose a question? Does the paper identify tensions? Does it say what it’s going to do and what its point is?
· He doesn’t state it in question form but he wants to know why students go out and participate in such risky and dangerous activities such as partying. The tension is between the cops and the underage drinking and being the one nobody knows at the party and having people stare at you because they know you are an unfamiliar face.
Theme
What is the quality of the content of the writing: the ideas, perceptions, and point of view? In your words, what is being said? Is it more than a collection of thoughts and observations? According to the author, why does this whole thing matter?
· He shows the typical party scene at BSU. He talks about the underage drinking and how there are other options of activity other than the house parties that are throw. He talks about what goes on in the party such as the beer pong game and the pranks they pull on people who fall asleep. It matters because this is information that a person who has never been to a house party would want to know.
Is there too much abstraction or generalization? Underline or circle this language in the paper. In other words, are there so few details, examples and explanations that it ends up dull, empty, and impossible to experience? Or, perhaps even impossible to understand? Explain.
· No, he gives detailed descriptions and he walks you through the whole night of activities.
Are there too little abstraction or generalization and too much clutter of details, examples, and explanations? Too little standing back for perspective? Too little forest per tree?
· I think he should talk more about his thought on that first night at the rugby house and his judgments or if he thought people judged him.
What is the practical significance of the artifact? What idea does it represent?
· The artifact was the cup they used to play beer pong and it represents the games they play at the party. Its one the main events when you first walk through the party.
What is the significance of Interview 1?
· Piece was the owner of the house so he knew what was going in in the house and when the parties were and he could answer all the questions involved around the activities that were going on in the house and some of the people. He talks about why they have the parties and why he drinks alcohol.
What is the significance of Interview 2?
· She tells how her background effects the decisions she makes like drinking and partying. She explains why she party and why she drinks alcohol for a confidence boost.
Are all 3 required scholarly sources developed in the conclusions?
· Yes
Is all source material cited according to MLA, both parenthetically and in a Works Cited?
· yes
Do the conclusions satisfy the issues the study raises with complexity? How so?
· He used the sources to explain and get into depth of the points he’s making.
Structure
Is the whole thing unified? Is there a central idea to which everything pertains? What? Are there loose ends that don’t seem purposefully so, but accidently overlooked?
· I think he chose the right example and interviewees because they all tie together.
Are the parts arranged in a coherent, logical narrative sequence?
· yes
Were the paragraphs really paragraphs? Could you tell what each one was saying? Did they function as helpful and comfortable units of thought, not too much, not too little? Mark any that seem too short or too long.
· They were pretty good length not too long that they were dragging.
Language
Are the sentences clear and readable? Underline with a wavy line any that you find incorrect or confusing.
· yes
Are the words used correctly? List any misused words.
· no
Is it succinct enough? Not too long, repetitious or dull? Mark any areas for deletion.
· No
Is it full enough? Or does the writer squeeze out the juice of human communication and spoken discourse? Is the language, even if correct, dull and indigestible? Does the writer sufficiently use the language of the subculture?
· He uses the slang that the people used around him and nicknames
Does the diction, mood and level of formality fit with ethnography?
· I think he should talk about some of the wild things or outrageous that happened at the different parties.
Readerly Response
Describe what was happening to you as you read. Tell which words or phrases stuck out or resonated.
· I like the way he mentions the slang and when he talks about how they put “x” on your face if you fall asleep. It really reminded me of the parties I went to while being here at Ball State. I also remembered times when my roommate would come home talking about what went on at the rugby house.
What happened and what are the implications?

What ideas or beliefs or feelings were brought into this piece? How do multiple points of view contribute to your understanding?
· The idea of alcohol and partying being a stress reliever. And you never know who you may become friends with.
What understanding of the culture do you have from reading this piece? What gave you this understanding?
· College students’ party for many reasons and when they all come together to one location you see the many personalities. People drink for many reasons like just to hang with friends or forget about stressors that are happening in your life. Sometimes drinking can get out of hand and maybe he could have told about a time if he saw someone getting into a fight or hurling.
The writer has introduced him/herself to you. Describe that meeting. What’s your impression? Did he thrust out his hand for you to shake? Did she sidle up next to you, but fail to look you in the eye? Did he send you a letter bomb or put his arm around your shoulder? Does it seem like the writer is standing on a cliff talking down to an audience below? What sense of the writer do you have? Formal? Casual? Intimate? Jocular? Arrogant? Are you with the writer, against her, or unsure since you don’t really know him?
· The writer seems like a laid back guy who wants to party. He’s not very shy because he went to a house where he knew no one. And he met up with a girl he didn’t even know that well and they talked for hours.
Is the writer giving in?
What do you want, need, or wish for?
· I want to hear more about what he sees random people doing or if there was an occurrence with the police

conclusion questions

What do you make of your experience?
This experience has taught me how to open my mind to new situations. I know that you can't live by what you were brought up to learn because sometimes people can be wrong. Never be afraid to learn new things. I I learned that it takes time to get someone to trust you and you have to be able to show them that you want to learn more about them. I learned that you have to ask questions if you want to find out information.

What is it like to be apart of your subculture's community?
Being apart of the the track and field throwers not only allowed me to meet new friends but made me feel like im not and outside anymore. I like coming around and they call me by my first name or the nicknames they have given me. It has really made me feel like im apart of their family. I have learned that you dont do things because of your appearance but because the love you have for it.

Describe the way you have represented them?
I showed how the girls are determined and love what they do. The paper will show the love they have for one another and how they strive to be the best they can be. It shows that women have the ability to do the same thing men are capable to do. I describe the obstacles they go through and how they overcome them. The paper not only shows the hardworking part of the girls but some of things they do outside of throwing. I also point out the stereotypes and if they are ethical or not.

Do you have the authority? Why or Why not?
I wouldnt say I have the authority to represent but I would say I have the ability. I have been knowing most of the team since track has started and once I started doing field notes and going to meets I have learned and seen alot about the girls. I have gotten to know some of their personal thoughts and have gladly learned many personalities. I can fully represent them to anyone and I know that they would agree.